Late Sunrise
by AURyuichi-san
Summary: The biggest secret Alice kept from Jasper: she wasn't meant to be with him. Now Jasper struggles with his emotions as the girl Alice saw in her visions appears before him and what does she think of all this? M for later chapters, Jasper x OC. Plz R
1. Preface

****I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY CHARACTERS RELATED THERE OF****

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"Jasper, stop making this difficult for me and calm down!" My eyes widened in insulted disbelief as I felt the annoyance at my anger radiating around her and my upper lip curled up as the hiss escaped through my grinding teeth. My head snapped up to see Edward, followed by Emmet, and Bella. I habitually, naturally, gauged their emotions and felt concern radiating from Bella, confused excitement and anticipation from Emmet, and grim understanding from Edward.

"The one I love is YOU Alice." My eyes bored down on her small frame and I stared in disbelief as her annoyance melted into a deep resigned sadness, the deepness and finality of it made me pause in my anger.

"I'm not the one you will love wholly. The only reason we've been together so long is because I was the one who found you Jasper." Her words made me take an involuntary step back. I shook my head in defiance at her words.

"Not possible." She can't be right... but she's Alice, she's always right. My trust and love for Alice warred with the denial I felt at her words. She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration though the action was completely unnecessary, just the habit of acting human.

"Jasper, THAT'S the reason I let it get this far. You NEEDED me then, but soon you're going to find the one who will change you completely." An involuntary growl rose out of my chest.

"NO." That couldn't be true...could it? Hadn't I felt her infinite love for me myself? Had I really just mistaken that for something else? I analyzed every moment I had ever spent with Alice, every flux and change of her emotion in relation to me, my actions. Only when my analysis caught a similarity in the affection emitted from Esme and affection from Alice towards me did I see how blind I had been, or had I chosen to be that blind? I stopped breathing, my shut eyes stung with an emotion I hadn't felt for a long time.

"Jasper..." My eyes snapped open at the remorse, the guilt, the affectionate sadness that rolled off of Alice.

"You LET me believe I was in love with you?! You only loved me as a brother yet you let me..." another growl whistled through my clenched teeth as I broke off a piece of the wall with my infuriated punch as I thought of all the intimate moments we'd shared. It was all lies, but what were the lies? I didn't even care to recognize that only Edward and Alice were left.

"No! Well yes-Look when I first saw you in my vision, I saw another one as well, one with you and a different girl, it was obvious that you were together... and deeply in love." Her voice became a whisper, but I couldn't have heard it any less clearly. I choked on the air I didn't need to breath in disbelief.

"You... knew before you even MET me?" Alice then held her tiny frame as if she were comforting herself from the compassion and anxiety that radiated around her.

"Yes and I thought that you two were together when I met up with you, but when I realized that she hadn't met you yet... and then you, no, WE started to grow feelings for each other... I had all but forgotten the vision thinking that the future had changed again when we became partners, but I was wrong..." Alice...Wrong. Those choices of words together only served to confuse me further. Edward finally stepped in and smoothly resolved the matter, but no matter how hard he tried the change was strange for all of us.

"Jasper, I've seen her visions myself. If I hadn't seen her visions and your analyses' then I would have thought of it as some twisted plot from Alice as well," He smiled ruefully when Alice sniffed and looked away with disdain, "but you should know from your own thoughts that she is speaking truth. You know Alice does these things for a reason and that she didn't mean to hurt you and you should know as well as I do that this is equally painful for both of you, but all you both need is time to adjust." My thoughts were rational once more as his words sunk in, but they held a bitter tone. At least only to become disarray once more when I find this one that I will love more than Alice. I internally flinched at her name, feeling as if I no longer held the right to do so. Or should I say until I find the one that I truly loved UNLIKE ... my sister. I felt Edward's calm as he monitored my thoughts and willed myself to at least appear calm. Thank you Edward, though even I find it odd how much you've turned into Carlisle after becoming a father as well. Edward chuckled at my thoughts and didn't bother to explain to Alice who was watching us curiously.

"Well I suppose having a half vampire child imprinted to a shape shifter COULD open your mind to acceptable conditions in most situations. I've simply learned to seek them out, that's all." I released my anger and bitterness towards this matter resignedly. Besides what could I do angry if Alice was right and even if she wasn't, I would never be able to take her back. When I reached this conclusion I felt an emptiness that was too close to the darkness that I lived in as a calculative murderer, but not quite there. I huffed out a long breath. Alice was right of course. I knew I wouldn't have been able to handle this soon after I joined our vegetarian family. Having her deny my growing affections for her would have been too much then, but now was different; I was used to this life and accustomed to change a little more though my negativity commented how it was cruel of her to wait for me to be at ease, my logic said that it made sense.

"I need...time." I ran my hand through my hair as I heard Alice's voice follow me out while I flew through the trees.

"You'll be back tonight and you'll find your new room the farthest from mine... Love you Jasper." I didn't bother to respond as I rushed between the weave of green growth. I stopped only when I reached near the borders of Canada, where I could no longer smell Alice or any of my...family. Are they my family? Do I still think of them that way? Now that my main reason for staying was gone, should I go? Alice said I would go back. I thought for the reason behind this and realized that for as little time as I had spent with the Cullens, I truly thought of them as family now. This revelation shocked me. I have grown to love this family. After spending the rest of daylight thinking this through I returned, resolved to stick to my decision. I had found a peace that I didn't expect to find in the darkness that Alice thrust me into. This is what she knew I would find, this attachment to her, Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmet, Bella, Reneesme, Jacob, even Charlie who has only been able to stay in touch through phone and email since we moved. Alice had waited until she was sure I had become attached to these immortals and their lifestyle and she got her way as she usually did. I felt everyone's pleasure and genuine happiness as I returned in a better or more normal mood. Edward's face was as equally outright delighted as his strong inward feelings. I couldn't help but give a smirk at the bemusement I felt towards their... compassion for me. I was **home**.


	2. Ch 1 The New Neighbors

Chapter 1

"The people here are so nice, but Alaska's so cold. I don't know if I want to leave or stay." I smiled warmly at the tourist from 'mainstream US' and responded warmly.

"I know what you mean. I've only been living here for a few years myself. The weather took some getting used to." The tourist laughed at the consternation in my voice.

"I bet, but you seem to have settled yourself well with this nice bookstore of yours. You'd think it wouldn't do very well in such a small isolated town especially since this town gets the worst of the state weather, but your shop is so warm and surprisingly big in its variety. It even has almost scientific research on vampires though like none I've ever heard of." He laughed again and I laughed with him, forcing myself to be casual and not show the flinch when I heard the word vampire. The man quickly continued and I realized he was trying to keep my attention, he was hitting on me.

"So I heard about the newcomers. They're the talk of the town of course. Apparently they moved into this big property that's been constructed over recently on the fringes of the forest and their group is large and varied, enough to get anyone talking." I put out of mind his attraction towards me and focused on the new information.

"New neighbors?" He grinned, happy to have told me something I didn't already know.

"Yeah, apparently they're two families that go way back. one is this young married couple that adopted a bunch of old foster kids, since no one else would take anyone that old. I guess it helps that they're loaded. Oh and the other are these three relatives from this Indian reservation and they moved with the Cullens when they offered. Their families must be super close, but they seem to still have some privacy for themselves considering that there are a bunch of separate buildings on the property." I was completely engrossed in the fascinating information.

"So who makes up this big family. Details please." He smiled at my obvious interest, happy to go on.

"Okay so there's the Cullen Family the parents are Carlisle and Esme Cullen. The Carlisle guy is some kind of big star doctor and the Esme woman is supposedly very kind, but she can't have children which is why she adopted. There's Emmet Cullen, the oldest, then Jasper and Rosalie Hale, they're siblings, Alice Cullen, and the three siblings Edward, Bella, and Reneesme. Then the Quilette tribe is made up of Jacob Black, oldest of his group, and close friends of the Black family, the Clearwater siblings Leah and Seth. They're all from the same area, somewhere in Washington called Forks and La Push which is close to Forks. What's weird is that they're all talented at almost everything as if actually being super rich made them super perfect." I scoffed and was thankful when a few customers came in and forced him to go on his way. Maybe later I would go and greet them with a housewarming gift.

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**AN: Sorry these are kind of short I'll try to do better (=3=)**


	3. Ch 2 Unpleasant Surprise

Chapter 2

I closed up early to make a welcome basket for our new neighbors and carefully packed the two basket full of goodies onto my custom snowmobile. I checked the small bed I'd attached to the back so I could deliver my store goods to homes if they ordered online and nodded with approval when I was sure the baskets were secure. My hands slipped into the familiar feeling of my unusually thin gloves as I recapped the place where they lived from the information I got from a helpful customer/neighbor. It was still light out when I reached their main house and I nervously knocked on their grand door. Just a few moments later a beautiful woman opened the door with a younger woman peaking out from behind her. I froze when I saw her, the woman seemed unfazed by my reaction and spoke.

"Yes? May I help you?" She was stunningly beautiful, though that term undermined the goddess like glory that surrounded her, but her beauty only served to frighten me. She's a vampire. The pale, marble-like skin, the inhuman beauty and grace, their attractive voice and smell. Immortals. Not human. I forced myself to calm down and act natural. I casually looked over the smaller woman behind her and saw similar features between the two, the shape of their faces and eyes, but the eye color was wrong and the skin color was different.

"Yes, hi, my name's Athena Ortiz. I own the local book shop in town and I wanted to officially welcome you to our small town." My smile was strained as I tried to inconspicuously continue looking at the blond, curly haired girl. She was also inhumanly beautiful, not as much as the taller dark haired one, and her eyes were a chocolate brown, not a golden topaz like the first or the crimson red I was used to which threw me off kilter. What really confused me was the young one's skin which was creamy and rich like a human's yet she had a vampiric grace to her. Who are these people?! I held my voice steady as two more entered at the doorway, both male one vampire and one human, but still inhuman in a way.

"And who's this?" The young man with the tousled bronze hair seemed casual, but his grin seemed strained almost forced on his face, he also had strange topaz eyes. The odd vampire woman took one basket and made the tan, taller man grab the other.

"Sweet! She brought goodie baskets!" The nearly seven foot tall muscular man seemed excited and completely at home with these vampires which confused me even more. He must be Jacob Black. I didn't have a chance to fully recover when the brown haired vampire answered the bronze haired one.

"She's the owner of the local bookstore. She's welcoming us to the neighborhood." Her smile at the bronze haired man was so filled with love that I felt like I was intruding just by looking. Then she quickly turned to me and made a sweeping gesture to the inside of their home. "Would you like to come in? It's cold today and there's still a little time before it gets dark." I took an obviously threatened step back and I'm sure that I visibly began to shake. All but the bronze haired one looked confused at my reaction. The bronze haired one took a grave and deliberately slow step forward. The desperately repressed memories began to come back in a flood. Felix. Jane. Aro and Caius. Dionysus. My eyes widened in fear as he took another step forward with what looked like grim caution?

"No..." I unwillingly remembered Felix and Jane standing over Dionysus, my half brother, his glassy eyes staring blankly in my direction, his limp and pale deformed body bruised with what looked like hand prints. Used. Abused. Forced._ RUN_.

"No don't run. Please calm down. We're not who you think we are." My eyes flickered in painful disgust and fear towards the vampire bronze. The dark haired woman looked at the bronze, uncertain and cautious as the others were now.

"Edward?" So he's Edward then she must be Bella and the younger one Reneesme. The thoughts of their identities sounded far away in my mind as if someone had spoken them softly from across the room and I just happen to hear them. What I realized now was that the bronze knew what I was thinking. Like Aro. He can read minds. This coven is the one the Volturi are always going on about. I'm doomed. My knees buckled and I felt the darkness drape itself over my eyes as I fell. Darkness, the sweet nothingness of darkness.


	4. Ch 3 Strange Revelations

Chapter 3

I stirred at hushed voices in the background and held still in fear of what had transpired. I went into a houseful of vampires that are probably more dangerous than the Volturi. They're murderers, thieves, tricksters, succubus, DEATH. So why was one thought gnawing guiltily at the back of my throat. These vampires were different. Their eyes, their company, the way they seem to act...human and their emotions seemed genuine...most of the time. The question that put these all to shame was the one that confused me the most. I know their secret. Why didn't they kill me?

"Because we don't prey on humans." My eyes snapped open and I sat up at the sound of Edward's voice. It seemed that their whole...family was there, watching me as I rose from an expensive looking white couch in the middle of the large, spacey room. Much different from Volturi's taste in decor; this room was OPEN and bright. It was welcoming and there were no shadows or suspicions of a darker purpose. I looked over their odd coven and found that two were missing, not that I cared much with the rest surrounding me. I tiredly looked at the unwanted audience and scanned them with my 'gift' as Aro put it. They all seemed...anxious? At what? My reaction? My reactions? My actions? Why are they feeling uncertain towards me?

"We are simply worried about your health, especially Carlisle." My mind processed this slowly. Carlisle. Father. Doctor...Doctor? He's a doctor? And he's supposedly famous for his work. His work has to involve surgery, cuts, blood. Doctor. He saves lives not takes them-no they all don't take lives. That must explain their eye color. Suddenly these harmless-no not harmless- these LESS threatening vampires fascinated me, but my wonder and curiosity warred with my already extensive knowledge of the Volturi and vampire nature in general. I sat as I recalled every memory, every sharp detail from the endless research that I did when the vam-er, Edward interrupted my thoughts.

"Hyperthymestic Syndrome?" He looked at me a little incredulously when I jerked my head in a tense nod.

"Yes, but doctors took out the hyper since I can repress the memories with little concentration. I can... handle it better is how they put it." I realized that Edward had spoken in a long and uncomfortable silence and realized my mistake." Ah, sor-er, well give me a minute to think." Edward nodded in understanding and what I thought was anticipation...for my thoughts? The others seemed to relax a little at Edward's ease. I continued my mental analysis as I scanned their group. Everything but their eyes and very nature are different from atypical vampires, but the eyes rang a dim bell and I internally flinched as I scanned over my memories of the endless time I spent at their _**private**_ library, where the books freely spoke of other worldly things. I skipped over the memoirs of previous and deceased Volturi guards and focused on the memoir of one particular nomadic vampire. I recalled the memory as I closed my eyes, the book seemed right in front of me as if I were still in the library with the musty smell of dust mixed with the sick fading smoke of aphrodisiac incense that wafted in from the secretary/waiting room. I recalled a certain entry I had of his encounter from half a century ago.

' _I ran into the most peculiar coven today. Though their party was no more than five, they lived the most peculiar lifestyle as a vampire. They lived among the humans parading around as if they themselves were only perfect or above average humans themselves. Though I found this strange, what interested me the most was their odd diet. They were vegetarians as they put it jokingly. They preyed on animals instead of humans. I had the most fascinating conversation with the leader, Carlisle I believe, about their careful detail to not overly help or hurt the ecosystem and how they openly charade as humans. Inconceivable! I thought, but their strange topaz and black eyes were proof of their lifestyle. He pleasantly explained how a diet of animal blood dilutes the average red eyes of a vampire to a golden topaz and that when not feeding the color changes gradually from topaz, to onyx, until completely black, then they feed again. Fascinating, simply fascinating! Though I tried to hunt with them as they chased around deer, I'm afraid I found the hunters hunting the deer more appetizing than the lack-luster taste of the unappealing herbivores_...' The passage continued, but the warm-blooded blond vampire brought my attention to the stories of a tribe leader far east. The translation was in my head, but the stout faced, tan man was in my head nonetheless with the smells and sounds of their tribe and the nearby untamed forest.

' _They are blood-suckers, Succubus! They lure our free-minded woman into the forest and trick them into mating! The women come home with swollen lips and bruises all over their body. Then the women are forced to carry the burden of the monster child within them. The child grows quickly, ready for birth in weeks! The child is an abomination for it breaks the bones of its mother and sucks the life blood out of her. Nothing can penetrate the rock hard stomach, more proof of monstrosity and when the mother has no more life blood left, the demon rips its way out of her stomach with a wailing not heard even by the ghosts that haunt the cursed! The baby rips its way out of her stomach by biting its way out with bloody teeth that it should not have yet, then it feeds on any souls that it sees until it's satisfied and sleeps. These monsters must be destroyed before they can be born. The child bearer must be sacrificed in order to protect the tribe_...' His story continued as well, but the main thing was that these monster children were vampire, but not. Vampire father, human mother, they have less invulnerability than vampires, but more than humans. They are warm-blooded and they sleep. She must be the daughter of Edward and Bella. She had Edward's hair color, her face an attractive combination of the two and her chocolate brown eyes must have been her mother's. A half vampire, half human. My first time seeing one. Though I was curious, I held my tongue and started to analyze the almost obviously tan three humans that stood at the edge of their group, the woman being farthest from the group and looking obviously annoyed and uncomfortable. I remembered the words of the tourist. La Push, Indians-Native Americans. An Indian reservation? I scanned through the countless languages and stories of different native Americans until I found one that fit. The Quilette. THEY had stories of blood-suckers that were not supposed to harm humans. They formed a treaty with vampires that did not feed on humans, but there was more. Older stories of them having the ability to leave their souls for enlightenment or something. About their first transformation into a certain animal-a wolf. The quickening of their growth, the ability to heal even quicker. How vampire venom is poisonous to them, how their blood repulses vampires, how they can inspire fear in them. But they can also be at peace together-like Quilette are werewolves! No, shape shifters. The specificity of the story was tricky. These vampires are no enemies, at least...I think, I hope. I sighed and looked warily at Edward who was staring at me with rapt fascination.

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**AN: Sorry for the walls-o-text...**


	5. Ch 4 Scientific Bonding?

Chapter 4

"Incredible. To have realized so calmly our natures' in such a short amount of time is unprecedented for a human! Even connecting the Quilette treaty and our companions with their stories and guessing that they're shape shifters!" A handsome vampire that looked like he should have been on the Hollywood screen stepped up towards Edward.

"What are you saying, Edward? It's only been at least eight minutes." Edward looked at the man, intellectual excitement in his eyes.

"Exactly. Oh Carlisle if you could only SEE the extensive network she has on the supernatural! If we had access to her information when Nessie was still in the womb, we would have suffered so much less!" Now the excitement tangibly infected the man now identified as Carlisle.

"Is her information so extensive, so accurate?" I vaguely recalled the time I spent observing, researching, and the research and conclusions that I wrote down myself, including the dying werewolf habitation caused by the bitter Caius.

"Yes! Her research on the matters are incredible! The evidence and information are irrefutable. The attention to detail and specificity. She even has research on true werewolves-" He cocked his head towards me in a fast vampire motion, too quick for me too see when my mind habitually elaborated on the topic in discussion. "Hmm, that's interesting." Carlisle urged him to speak.

"What is it?" Edward grinned, apparently at the chance to degrade the mighty Caius.

"It seems that Caius' near loss towards a werewolf is the cause for humans thinking we can be killed by a wooden stake, though it's quite the opposite." Carlisle looked at Edward questioningly.

"It seems that the wooden stake is actually the werewolves weakness not ours. That's how Caius was able to efficiently drive them to near extinction." I heard a tinkling, bell like laugh come from the spiky haired, small framed girl.

"Only humans would make so obvious a mistake as that." I saw them exchange a significant glance, but ignored it out of courtesy." I'm Alice by the way and this is Rosalie, Esme, Reneesme or Nessie, Jacob, and Leah and Seth. You already know who Edward, Bella, and Carlisle are." Each greeted me, some warmer than others. Edward was again the first to address me.

"If you wouldn't mind telling us, how are you related with the Volturi?" The others didn't seemed shocked at the name so I guessed that he filled them in after I fainted. I started at the beginning of the end of my known life. I sighed, deeply sad at the truth my words were.

"I was a major in philosophy and mythology when I was in college. I invested in stocks when I got out and made a fortunate amount of money. My step brother, Dionysus, was not so lucky. After our, my father and his mother died, our parents, when I was 12 and he was 14, he started to pick up bad habits: Gambling, dealings, drugs. He dragged me through all of it. Eventually he got sucked into a gang and as always I had to get him out, but not without some pain on both sides." I mindlessly kneaded the long scar on my inner palm, remembering the sharp bite of the blade I grabbed in order to stop it from killing Dionysus. I continued, my voice as flat as before.

"We moved to a different state, New York. I was hoping to start over new. I went to college hoping to support my older, or younger, brother better in the future. I graduated early and started my research on connections between the myths of different cultures."

"Interesting topic..." Carlisle muttered interestingly under his breath. I continued pretending not to hear.

"I traveled around the world and took my brother with me, but my brother had picked up another bad habit, drinking." I grimaced in distaste as I remembered the cultural variety of his alcoholic drinks. "The webs that tied the culture mythology together led me to one place... Italy." I spit the word with as much hate as I could. I continued now, painfully remembering. "We were scouted by an inhumanly attractive woman with odd purple eyes, though I refused their tour, the woman lured in my brother with promises of drinks and a good time at this 'tour'." I heard many grit their teeth, but didn't bother to see who.

"She told me to pick him up later and I agreed, stupidly..." I bit back the tears that started to flow not allowing myself to cry. It was my fault. I just wanted a small break from taking care of him. "I went back and followed the woman through a maze of corridors. I was taken in by the ancient architecture, but when we finally went into the spacious throne room, I saw... Dionysus on the floor with two hovering over him in dark gray cloaks." My breath hitched before I continued.

"Their names were Felix and Jane. They explained how they... ended my brother. One among the company near Aro and the others stopped them from killing me by saying I have a potent gift. Aro checked my memories and offered me a spot in his...coven." I began to visibly shake, though if in anger or fear, I wasn't sure. "I said I would consider it because I knew it would keep me alive. Aro told me to take my time since I had eternity to choose. I watched blankly as they disposed of my brother's body. Then..."My thoughts continued to my tour guide and his...interest in me joining the Volturi. I grit my teeth when Edward spoke.

"You don't have to tell us...everything if you don't want to." He looked at me understandingly though I saw that his hands were clenched in fists, his marble skin even paler against his knuckles. I shook my head, unable to respond and continued without taking anything out of my narrative.

"Aro...assigned Felix to me as a guide and unfortunately for me, he seemed to have taken a particular interest in me." I paused trying to hold my breath steady. Jacob used this chance to ask a question.

"Did he want your blood?" I shut my eyes in shame, not willing to answer when Edward roughly whispered what I could not.

"No he wanted HER, _all_ of her. He told her what he would do with her when she turned into a vampire-Disgusting." I saw his lip curl back in angry disgust as the others realized that Felix wanted my body, my immortal one. I continued before they could try to ask questions or console me.

"They openly welcomed me into their...home, thinking that one human could be no threat much less escape. I used this opportunity to conduct research on them and anything else I could find from their expansive libraries; the only thing I miss from the Volturi." I let my voice warm as I spoke of what I found there. "It was every researcher's dream. There were scripts dating back to the times of the ice age! They even had some of the lost scrolls and books from Alexandria! And so many of the original scripts of the Greeks and Romans! So much history, the real thing!" I allowed myself a small smile before it turned into a frown to finish my story. "I read their whole library, finishing as fast as I could, though it still took me a few years to finish; after that I made use of the daylight and some festival. There was some kind of commotion going on with the Volturi, they had gotten a request of death from a vampire that Aro had wanted, but he made plans to try to expose them so they'd be forced to kill him." I noticed that all their eyes brightened at this and came to the conclusion that they knew more about this incident than I did, but I continued as if I hadn't noticed. "I used the temporary...disarray to escape. They must have found me not worth looking for, especially since Aro told them that I would never expose their secret even IF I somehow managed to escape. You know the rest. I set up a bookstore in an isolated town and offer my selected research to the public, under a pen name of course, but now I'm going to have to add a whole other book to my research with just those that live here. Ah, if you don't mind. Of course the majority of my research will stay in my private library." I started to mentally list what evidence I would use and what questions I would ask if they allowed me to conduct research on their lifestyle. Edward cleared his throat which caught my attention because it was a very human-like behavior.

"We would love to answer any questions you need for you to finish your research, but I'm sure I, Carlisle included, would very much appreciate it if you could show us what research you have already and maybe we could even combine what research we've conducted with yours." My poor human intellect tingled with excitement at the thought. My response was so immediate it was almost comical, in fact a few of them did laugh.

"Of course!" Carlisle, Edward, and I then went into a deep discussion about my research and when we finished whatever could be done without my actual paperwork, they went on to tell me the long history of their entire coven including the shape shifters.


	6. Ch 5 DenialAcceptance

Chapter 5

I was so completely enraptured in their life-stories that I didn't notice when the two missing members returned and were listening to our conversation until they started to comment on their own life-stories, adding a missing detail or certain thought where they thought necessary. The brawny one I was sure was Emmet at first sight, it's the other, the honey blond one that held my attention. I could see with my human eyes in the dim light the multiple scars that I immediately identified as the shiny crescent bite marks of vampire teeth. The story answered my question of why so many vampires would have attacked just one. My mind tried to focus on the intellectual conversation that followed, but Jasper, the honey blond, was stuck to the forefront of my mind. Why was I so interested in this vampire? I stared shamelessly at the distant vampire trying to label this odd pull that I had towards him, when he locked eyes with me. In just that second, I understood why my breath had hitched and my heartbeat sped, but I refused to acknowledge it. I stood up stiffly.

"I have to go." I left without another word to my confused hosts. Though I didn't turn around to check, I knew that Jasper's eyes followed me all the way out and wondered at my confidence to my own claim.

* * *

I stared after the retreating girl in shock. What had she just felt when we made eye contact? What had I experienced in that second? Certainly not something I felt towards every other human. I felt more than thirst when I saw her so human face. I saw beyond the fact that she was human. She was beautiful. Her jet black, wavy long hair held back by a black hair band; her dark-chocolate brown eyes; her high, proud cheekbones; her smooth, round cheeks that lead to a small proud chin. Her full, royal lips that had turned down in a grimace before she turned; the regal way she walked with such a delicate human frame; how her lovely cream skin held paper thin fragility; her long, lovely lashes, the curious quirk in her eyebrow-I could go on forever about her limitless beauty. I realized once again that Alice was right. My love for her had never felt this intense... and for that I felt horrid. I had never loved Alice as I was supposed to. I failed as a man. I became selfish. A monster. A vampire. I turned away from the beautiful retreating figure, gauging her feelings as I did. Confusion. Realization. Horror. But the emotions that cowered the rest were wonder, amazement, LOVE. My palm met with my forehead in quiet shock. She felt what I did in that same moment. And she didn't like it. She didn't want to fall in love with me, a vampire, a monster. As the door opened, I felt her fear grow as she took in the darkness outside. The unknown frightened her. I stood up without realizing, wanting to calm her fears, to protect her from it. I was about to take a step forward, but I stopped myself. NO. I will not chase after her. I have no right to claim her nor does she wish it. I turned on my heel and sped out the back door and into the surrounding forest before she had even closed the door. My thoughts continued to wheel in my head until one particular thought occurred to me. Why can't I just watch her from a distance? Why couldn't I just protect her from the shadows, without her knowing? I would get nothing in return for I deserved none, but she gets the protection and sense of security she so richly deserves. Our kind destroyed her life, though I don't deserve to, I owe it to her to protect her, as one of the vampires that hurt her, as one of the monsters of her nightmares. Even as I was thinking this, my legs had already started moving towards the whirl of emotions I already recognized as Athena Ortiz. I was sickened by the excitement I felt at going to see her, to just catch a glimpse of this human, this girl. I have fallen into a deeper and much warmer abyss than I have ever fallen into in my existence. This is true love.

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My hands shook as I revved my snowmobile and flipped on the strong lights, making the first mile ahead of me visible. Darkness, unknown, danger! I shook my head and revved once more before opening my eyes and speeding forward. I just fell in love with a vampire, with a monster! I clamped down the tears that threatened to overflow at this horrible thought. That's not true. My snowmobile dangerously skidded left when the thought ran through my mind. Not true? How? Why?

_Because you fell in love with Jasper Whitlock, Jasper Hale, not a monster. _

But still a vampire! my mind argued back at this calm voice.

_A good one. Didn't you just see that they are good to the core? They don't kill humans._

But they still crave it!

_And they suffer for it. You're letting your hate towards those responsible fall to all their kind, even the ones that have humanity, even the one you just fell in love with._

I don't love him!

_Yes, you do and you know it. You also know that he loves you in return and that he is suffering even now because of it_.

Why would he suffer for love of me? That makes no sense.

_If you calmed down and thought about it, it would. Remember the story of his life, the way he turned into a vampire, what he had to go through being the honorable man he was. He does not believe that a monster like himself deserves a pure love._

He doesn't!

_Stop that! _My thoughts were interrupted by the sudden blur that appeared in the corner of my eye and swerved sharply to the right when I saw that a deer had just jumped right in front of me.


	7. Ch 6 AccidentOpportunity

Chapter 6

The deer quickly jumped out of the way, but I lost control of my snowmobile and all I saw were blurs of black and dim white when suddenly I felt like I rammed straight into a marble wall. The wind got knocked out of me as my whole body jarred from the impact. Suddenly a cold iron grip coiled itself around my waist gently as I saw a pale hand stop my snowmobile as if it were nothing more than a toy car. The hand stopped the snowmobile quickly and expertly after the grip removed me from it and placed me on wobbly legs. The hand then joined the other in steadying me before swiftly letting go. He spoke in a voice that had my heart racing for a much different reason.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt?" His voice was soft as sunlight and slightly rough with concern. As I took a deep breath, I inhaled the rich scent of an ocean breeze and warm sunlight. I looked up into the golden eyes of my savior and my breath stopped. His face took my breath away; though it was riddled with crescent scars, visible even in the weak moonlight, his face was smooth as marble his nose hooked and perfectly balanced with his solemn face, his eyebrows knit in obvious concern. He was _a god_. He was _good_. I immediately felt guilty for ever thinking of this particular vampire as a monster as I let my love for him grow exponentially inside me, hate no longer restricting it._I know him, all of him; I __**love**__ him._As if he knew what I felt his eyes widened a little in amazed wonder at my strong gaze before turning into a cold fire that made my spine tingle. His finger twitched as if he were thinking of raising it, but thought better of it. He broke our intense stare and started to turn away when I unthinkingly grabbed his sleeve.

"Wait!" He froze at the sound of my voice and turned in shock. I blushed at the fact that my voice broke when I spoke. "Uh-um, wait..." I released his sleeve and clenched my hand to my chest. I stared up at him, looking at him with the limited light. It pained me that I couldn't see him clearly. It pained me even more that he was trying to leave. I turned away, unable to speak at the sudden pain I felt at his leaving me. My heart skipped haphazardly when I felt Jasper's cold hand slide gently on my cheek, turning my face back to his. I saw my eyes in his and saw that we looked at each other with the same expression. "You...love me too?" I whispered this as a question, afraid of what he would answer. My fear intensified as the seconds crept by when he answered me so quickly that I almost couldn't make it out.

"Yes, yes I love you, but I don't want you to be with me. I'm dangerous, a monster. I don't deserve this. You shouldn't even feel the way you do. You only just met me, how can you love me so deeply already?" I listened with understanding and embarrassment as I recalled that his gift was the ability to know and manipulate feelings.

"Then why don't you change my feelings? Make me hate you?" I knew he could do that. He looked away, pain clear on his handsome face.

"It-it would be wrong of me to tamper too greatly with your feelings. I didn't think your love would just...explode like that if you saw me again." His hand went over his mouth in human-like disbelief. I slowly placed my palm on his cold marble chest, keeping it there even after he stiffened.

"Then why not accept my feelings if we share them? Is it too hard to be around me because I'm human...?" I hesitantly removed my hand only to have it snatched invisibly by his pale marble hands.

"No! No, I haven't even thought of-I wouldn't-no CAN'T think of you that way...as prey. I can't think of hurting you in any way. I can't..." He seemed to have trouble just thinking about it as he squeezed my hand gently. I let the silence drag for a little longer before speaking.

"Jasper," a thrill went through me as I said his name and as I watched his eyes, I saw that he felt it too, "come home with me. Stay with me, at least tonight." I spoke the last desperately as I looked up through my lashes at his shocked face. My desperation and sorrow grew stronger as he failed to respond. I tried one last time. "Please..." This time my efforts seemed to get more than I asked, not that I minded all that much. Jasper roughly pulled me into his cold embrace, as if he tried to be gentle, but still used a little too much strength.

"You're not playing fair. You know I can't say no without hurting you." His voice was rough as he whispered in my ear. I smiled warmly and lightly, hesitantly rest my arms on his chest.

"_'The rules of fairplay do not apply in love and war.'_ " Jasper chuckled once then sighed, making goose bumps of cold prickle on my neck before he gently put me at arms length.

"John Lyly, 'Euphues'," He brushed his fingers along my cold neck, making me shiver, "fine, let's go to your home." As he said so, he straightened and he became stiff. In an instant, he straightened my snow bike, turned it on, and playfully yanked me on it, securing me between his arms, before taking off at full speed. I simply let my surroundings blur as I gently rest my head against Jasper's chest, hearing his deep rhythmic breathing instead of the human heart I should have been able to hear with any other living creature. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, enjoying the puffs of white that came out then disappeared as soon as they came because of the unnatural speed.


	8. Ch 7 Unrestrained Desire

Chapter 7

We arrived at my house almost half an hour earlier than the usual time it takes me to get there. We were both quiet as we entered my modest bookstore. I silently led him to the second floor that was my house. Since the store itself was big, I had a penthouse sized, well, house. It had a kitchen, 2 bathrooms, living room, 2 bedrooms, 1 master bedroom and master bathroom, and the largest room which took up half of the top floor was my private library/study; it was also connected to my bedroom. So while I stripped off the thick cold protection and turned on the air conditioning, Jasper politely waited for me by settling in my study and reading my research. I sat down next to him on the generously sized and excessively stylish and comfortable couch. I also helped myself to the Volturi's unused treasure room before I made my escape. He was already on the last of my research when I had sat down so this time I waited quietly while he finished. When he finished he put it silently on the side table as he spoke to me.

"You have a very precise and accurate take on vampiric natures. Your theories and opinions on the scientific aspects are revolutionary and well supported by solid fact and science. Even the mythology and superstition found in each is explained thoroughly and yet you never cease to lose the interest of the reader. Your research is as good as if not better than many vampire researchers and scientists I know." I raised my eyebrow incredulously at Jasper, not believing for a second that my research could be better than a vampires. Jasper chuckled as he caught my emotions, then he suddenly caught my eyes in his and his intensity didn't let me look away.

"Jasper?" I breathed the word, unable to raise my voice any louder. I could barely hear myself over my now racing heart. He lifted his hand as if to touch my face, but pulled it back and leaned heavily back on the couch. I felt disappointment radiate from my body as I, too, now leaned back on the couch. "You can touch me, you know. Unless my...smell makes it too difficult for you." I gripped my arm tighter until it hurt when Jasper gently touched it, making me jump. His face was inches from mine. His amber eyes were full of pained confusion.

"I became unaware of the pull of your blood the moment I knew I loved you, knowing I'd never hurt you if I could help it." I hesitantly put my hand over his, staring down at our now intertwined hands, unable to hold his intense gaze.

"Then why...?" Suddenly, he was no longer holding my hand or inches from me, he was across the room, his back to me. Though I couldn't see him, the confusion and hesitation were clear in his voice.

" Because this shouldn't be happening so quickly. Especially with the standards of humans, not to mention how dangerous it is to be together." Relief washed over me as I walked up to him and hugged him from behind. His hands slid across my arms. "Why are you so relieved?" There was slight humor in his voice.

"Because you're hesitating for such a solvable reason." He smoothly turned around and lightly rested his cold hands on my hips; my fingers never untwined from around him.

"And what is the solution to the reason for my hesitation." Though our position did seem more intimate, there was still air between our bodies. I felt the tension of the proximity surge in the air like electricity.

" Well the first reason this is going so fast because unlike the rest of my kind, I recognize when I feel something towards another person and acknowledge it. The second is I accepted these feelings for you, also unlike my kind. And third, well, as soon as we saw each other I knew from the bottom of my soul, my being, that we already knew each other, even though we'd never met before today. Don't humans have a name for that?" I mused, leading him to the obvious conclusion he was oddly unwilling to see.

"...Soul mates." His voice was a soft whisper as the intensity in his eyes grew.

"That is what Edward and Bella are, too, right?" I twirled lightly out of his grasp and sat back down on the couch. I was amused to see that he seemed a little confused and disoriented at the change in atmosphere and topic.

"Ah, yes, I suppose they are." He recovered himself inhumanly quick and sat casually on the couch next to me. I smiled a little sadly as I went back to our serious conversation.

"You know, I knew you loved me the moment you saw me. It was so clear on your face, no, in your eyes how much you came to love me in that one moment that it was almost too painful to look at." My eyes raised hesitantly to his since I knew he was looking at me with that intense look again. "You knew we were meant to be, didn't you? Even before you met me?" What I said didn't make much sense to me, but I felt the truth of it from the same place that told me he was my destined love. His eyebrows knit together in frustration and painful adoration as he placed his palm lovingly against my cheek. I placed my hand over his and leaned reverently into his gentle touch.

" You're right...about everything." The cold fire in his bronze eyes suddenly burned away the frustration, the confusion, and hesitation that had taken up residence in him since he saw me. "There's no reason for me to hesitate if our feelings resonate so beautifully." His words sent a thrill through me as he laid me gently on my back. I thanked Fate for convincing me to buy this roomy couch as Jasper leaned closer. He only paused for a heartbeat, our noses practically touching, to gauge my emotions I guessed, and his lips descended on mine. His cold, hard lips felt like they were burning mine with ice as Jasper pressed my body against his. My body so easily went against his, it felt as if I were shaped just for him. Jasper sucked my lower lip lightly, teasing, making me part my lips and let out a small, embarrassing sound and Jasper was upon me again, using the opportunity to enter my mouth. I opened my mouth wider, welcoming him and inhaling his beach scent. My fingers weaved themselves into his smooth, honey blond locks while his hands caressed my back, my waist, my arms. His cold touch sent shivers of pleasure down my arched spine. The intensity was staggering; by the time Jasper released me, I was gasping for breath and my heart was thumping sporadically. Jasper sat me up and cradled me in his lap. We kissed each others necks as I caught my breath and steadied my heartbeat. I giggled girlishly, which was out of character for me, as he playfully nibbled my ear. I felt his breath on my ear as he chuckled.

"You're in an infinitely better mood." I teased. He chuckled once more as he ran his nose and mouth along my neck and bare shoulder. I closed my eyes, shivering slightly at his loving touch. His hands slid down to my waist and lower back.

"You're to blame, darling." I smiled at his accusation and the resurfacing of the 1860's love talk, though when he used it he sounded more like a handsome, smooth-talking gentleman than the young civil war soldier he truly was. His caressing hands brought my attention back to him as one found its way under my shirt. I gasped as his cold, bare fingers traced my spine upwards until he reached the clasp of my bra. I looked questioningly at the sexy, smiling Jasper.

"So bold..." I could barely hear my shaking voice. His smile grew more confident and seductive at my voice.

"Of course. You yourself told me," He leaned in, our noses brushing one another, "why wait?" He kissed and gently nibbled my neck as I processed his words through muddled thoughts and managed to respond.

A smile parted my lips as I spoke. "My room has a much larger, and more comfortable bed-" I didn't get to finish whatever it is I was going to say because Jasper kissed me and lifted me effortlessly, heading for the open bedroom door. I didn't even hear the door close behind us; all I noticed was the feel of the bed underneath me, Jasper above me, and the sound of my clothes tearing under his fingers. I was careful not to let him tear his own clothes as his caresses got more rough. My mind went blank in the passion and intensity of this moment. All I could comprehend, know, feel, be, was Jasper. In that moment of love and passion, I became everything with Jasper.


	9. Ch 8 Purple Afterglow?

Chapter 8

I woke up the next morning in Jasper's cold, naked arms. I snuggled closer to him, rubbing my face against his smooth, bare chest. He proceeded to gently caressing my throbbing lower back. I sighed in satisfaction.

"That feels good." His hand stopped and his palm put itself flat against the point of my pain, numbing it. I sighed again, "really, really good." He began caressing my arm with excessive care and that's when I noticed the fact that he was once again hesitant in his touches. Irritation prickled at my good mood, but I pushed it aside as I shifted my head up to see him.

" What is this? One step forward and two steps back?" He smiled at my little joke and kissed my forehead lightly.

" Have you really not noticed?" That's when I saw the deep guilt in his amber eyes; I also noted a piece of fluff sticking to Jaspers tousled hair. I plucked it out and stared at the odd fluff ball.

"What...?" I sat up slowly and saw that my bed was covered in fluff. I stared in shock at my torn comforters, sheets, and pillows. I stared at the fluff ball in my hand and saw that tiny feathers were in it as well. I looked incredulously at Jasper who managed to look sheepish.

"It was more difficult to control myself than I thought..." He wanted to continue, but my abrupt laughter interrupted him.

"It looks like a tornado happened on my bed!" I was laughing so hard I started crying. Jasper gave a half-hearted smile as he wiped my tears away when I calmed down. His eyes spoke suffering. I sobered quickly at his expression. He gently touched my breast and I was surprised to find that I winced at the slight contact. I looked down and saw that my breast were now two purple splotches, there were also similar purple bruises on my hips, thighs and upper arms. I felt my lips and found that they were slightly swollen. I sat in silent shock for just half a second before I burst into laughter. Jasper stared at me in shock and I struggled to calm down. I grabbed his supporting arm as I used my other to hold my hurting stomach. I struggled to breath and speak.

"Jasper-giggle- help me-gasp- out here..." I dissolved into painful laughter once more before I felt a wave of calm wash over me. My outright laughter was reduced to the occasional giggle.

"Why in the world are you laughing?" Jasper sounded incredulous at my good humor towards my bruises. I couldn't help, but burst into laughter again, but I managed to tell him what was wrong before my laughter got too out of control.

" My boobs-burst of laughter-look like purple pomegranates!-laughter-" I started laughing hard again. Jasper stared at me in shock for half a second before he snickered, trying to hold in laughter. Another half second later, he burst out in laughter, too, as in real laughter, outright and joyous. After seeing Jasper laugh I pointed at him in amusement and laughed even harder. Our laughter made the bed shake. When my stomach started hurting and it got hard for me to breath, Jasper calmed me down again. I sighed in relief as I took a deep breath. Jasper wiped away the last of my tears and looked at me with remorse.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you. Even after I promised I wouldn't..." I smiled at his guilt in understanding.

I caressed his cheek and he pressed my hand against his face. "Do you regret making love to me?" His eyes widened and was quick to reassure me.

"NO! No, of course not! I simply regret hurting you in the process." He kissed the center of my palm silently. I placed my hands on either side of his handsome face.

"Then I forgive you for hurting me," my smile broadened as I added a side note, " and for ruining my favorite bedspread and clothes." He smiled ruefully at my successful attempt to lighten the mood.

"You'll get back new ones by tonight." He ruffled my hair and I groaned when a bunch of fluff fell off. Jasper laughed at my consternation and began to swiftly pluck out the fluff and feathers as I did the same for his hair, but at a much slower pace. When he was done, he stopped me from my incessant plucking with choked laughter.

"Enough, I can do that myself. Why don't you go and take a shower." He gave me a peck on the cheek before I got up and sulked to the bathroom.

"Not everyone's as fast as vampires, you know." I muttered to myself and smiled when I heard Jasper chuckle.

He spoke as I was entering the bathroom. "I'll join you very shortly." I smiled back at him, responding lightly and casually.

"I'll be waiting for you, _mi amour_." He chuckled once more before I stepped into the master bathroom. I let the hot water running from the shower relax and unknot my tense and sore muscles. The hot water and steam was getting too uncomfortable for me when Jasper suddenly appeared and was hugging me from behind. I giggled as I turned around to hug him face on.

"Just in time for heat control." He smiled down at me, amused.

"Am I your personal air conditioner now or something?" He pushed back my wet hair with one hand and I did the same with his, happy to see his responding smile. He noticed that I was doing nothing extraordinarily human and guessed at why. "Are you done?" I nodded against his chest, unwilling to let him go in order to respond properly. He chuckled once as he stopped the water and lifted me wrapping me in bunches of large fluffy towels before taking me back to the open aired bedroom. I immediately noted the difference. The mattress was bare except for two sets of folded clothes and the room was fluff and feather free. I laughed once.

"Instant cleaning service." This time Jasper laughed with me and bowed impressively after he sat me on the bed.

" Anything for my precious girl." I blushed furiously at the old style love talk and gave a shy smile. Jasper noticed my embarrassment and kneeled in front of me, wrapping his hands around my waist after placing himself between my legs.

"Darling, acting all shy and innocent after making love to me just isn't playing very fair." I snickered as I answered sarcastically.

"Didn't we already talk about this fair play nonsense?" He smiled and pressed his face against my towel covered stomach.

"Yes, yes," he looked up at me from my lap, "but tell me why you get embarrassed whenever I call you darling or something of the like." I held back laughter at his focused gaze.

"I didn't know you were so curious." He stared at me as if my comment had confused him.

"Of course, if it has anything to do with my dear Athena then I want to know." I blushed again at his endearments. He was suddenly at eye level and once again staring at me intensely. "Tell me." I blushed and broke eye contact before answering.

"I've never been addressed like that by someone I...loved in return. Actually, I've never been addressed like that by anyone. It just...it's just a little embarrassing." Jasper surprised me by placing me in his lap and hugging me tightly.

"There you go not playing fair again. You're too cute, Athena."


	10. Ch 9 Departure & Confrontation

Chapter 9

I hid my face in his chest and noticed he was already wearing his faded dark jeans and sweater over his button-up collar shirt. Jasper helped me dry my hair when he noticed that I wanted to be dressed again. Jasper even helped me... or more like he practically dressed me himself. I smiled at him ruefully.

"Jasper, I am capable of dressing myself." I smiled at his shameless shrug as he coddled me on the tempurapedic mattress.

"I wanted to do as much with you as I could before I had to leave." I felt a sharp pang of pain as I recalled his having to leave. He hugged me tighter, feeling my pain. I gave a half-hearted laugh at his concern and rolled so my face was in his chest.

"Sorry, I'm okay, just overreacting I guess," He pressed me against his chest comfortingly. After a short comfortable silence, I spoke again. "Is it stupid that I'm stll going to miss you and be lonely even though we're going to see each other soon?" He hugged me tighter and responded in a confident whisper.

"No...since I'll feel the same way. In fact I'm already feeling the same way." I smiled sadly in response as I saw the clouds thinning under the brightening sun.

"I'll miss you." I felt his lips kiss the top of my head as he stroked my hair.

"I'll see you soon." And with that, he was gone. I sighed a heart wrenching sob, took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and splayed myself on the bare mattress. I let my thoughts lose themselves in the forever of Jasper's touch.

* * *

My elated mood vanished as I got in range of Edward's gift. My thoughts shifted towards the research I had so readily finished in preparation for this. Not that I expected even half of what happened-Focus, research. I almost laughed at having to tell myself that. A vampire that couldn't focus. I calmed myself and forced myself to focus hard on the extensive research she had done. By the time that I got inside, Edward was already relaying her research and providing their own evidence and topics. Even Alice and Esme were contributing. They were too polite or perhaps too curious to ask why Athena's smell clung all over me. That being the case, of course Emmett asked, with Rosalie following.

"Yo, Jasper. You're back. Have a nice sleepover?" This time it was too hard to not completely show any humor. I managed not to laugh, but a smile did manage to escape. I turned away from Emmett's shocked expression at my usually solemn one. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. I chanted to myself. This time my thoughts were odd enough for even Edward to pay attention. And Edward's curiosity at my thoughts caught Esme's attention, etcetera. Edwards seemed to identify the oddly giddy mood I was in through his own experience.

"Impossible." I sobered as Edward connected the dots and realized that my feelings were reciprocated. I shrugged and recalled our interchanging of love words along with the immense feelings of love that I had sensed from Athena at the time, me brushing my hand along her cheek, her neck, shoulder-I stiffened and stopped my thoughts short since they were heading in a dangerous direction. Esme's intuition seemed to click as she realized my 'predicament'. She smiled so much like a proud mother that I couldn't help but smile back at her odd affection towards me.

"Oh, Jasper, I'm so happy for you! I'm so glad you found her so quickly." She hugged me and I politely returned the embrace. Edward shook his head as Emmett also connected the dots.

Emmett whistled suggestively. "Whoo! So how far did you get last night, bro? Did you go all the way?" His eyebrows waggled rudely, openly trying to taunt me. My thoughts wandered back to Athena in my arms, her fingers in my hair, lips - My mind shut down and focused on translating an old script into German, English, and Chinese all at once, a trick learned from Alice. Edward, who was so keenly attuned to my thoughts since I came home, suddenly became suspicious at why I was trying so hard to hide my thoughts.

"What are you hiding from me, Jasper?" He came and stood right in front of me, looking me straight in the eye. I averted my eyes, unable to hold it since I was hiding something. I felt everyone's curiosity grow as I did so. Emmett was the one to break my concentration.

"So you did do something. Did you make out?" His boisterous comment broke through my concentration and the scene of our kiss escaped for just one millisecond, but it was enough for Edward.

"What?!" Emmett's jaw dropped when Edward looked openly shocked as he did.

"Whoa, whoa, hold up...I was right? Dude, you just met her yesterday and you already made out with the chick? Damn, it took Edward months just to get that far. I guess Carlisle and Edward aren't the only ones who can hold back anymore. You blew right past us didn't you, Jasper." I turned away from them, my thoughts now focusing with excessive care on the certain design of a vase in the corner. If only they knew...but they didn't and I intend to keep it that way. Only when I felt a certain emotion come from Edward did I chuckle and answer Emmett's comment. I felt shock, concern, anxiety, and...jealousy? I couldn't help but chuckle because I knew why he was jealous. After all the angst and pain that he and Bella had to go through, Athena and I just skip it entirely. I felt a pang of annoyance grow in him as I guessed his thought process correctly. I chuckled again this time louder than I usually would which caught everyone's attention.

"To answer you, Emmett; I don't think I gained anymore self control than usual. In fact I'd say that getting that far was due to a lack of self control rather than the latter. I also had the luck of watching and learning from a similar situation." Emmett scratched his chin before grinning widely and smacking me on the back.

"Well whatever the case, congrats bro. I assume that you're gonna do it the same way as Edward right? Propose, have a baby, become an annoyingly happy vampire family and all that crap." For the first time since I came back from Athena's place, I felt hesitation. Our conversation of true love, soul mates, and unnecessary awkwardness ran through my mind. If we were already so...together, why was I so hesitant about this? What would hold me back from doing so? I knew that Athena would whole-heartedly agree with any of it, all of it. Then why did I feel this...aversion towards this conclusion? Was I like Edward who so vehemently refused to 'ruin' Bella's life with immortality even if it made all the sense in the world and it would in fact make her safe from any danger except other vampires? I felt Edward's anger grow as he read my thoughts and immediately, automatically, calmed him.

"Sorry." Edward sighed at my quiet apology.

"No you're not." I smirked at him, but it didn't last as I tried to find the source of hesitation and quickly enough, I found it. I was afraid. But of what?-I was afraid I wouldn't be strong enough. Strong enough to save her if she got pregnant. Strong enough not to kill her when I poured my venom into her. Strong enough to resist the pull of her blood. My teeth clenched at the thought of hurting her in any way when I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder. I stared at him, frustrated.

_Will I be strong enough?_ My thoughts addressed him directly. Edward chuckled good heartedly and got rid of my worry.

"Of course you will. Bella's blood was much more potent for me than Athena's is to you. Even without that factor, just the thought repulses you and counteracts the thirst, doesn't it?" He smiled reassuringly as I confirmed this mentally. "Then you have nothing unusual to worry about." I nodded and wandered off, letting myself drown in(censored) thoughts of Athena.

* * *

(around five month time skip)

I heard the crunching snow of following footsteps behind me. I struggled not to quicken my footsteps at the alarm I felt at being followed. I cursed myself internally when I realized that I had forgotten the taser I used to carry around, though I hadn't used it in months. I grew too comfortable with Jasper always protecting me. Stupid! I chided myself as the footsteps inched closer. My breath grew more shallow as the suspense grew unbearable. Jasper was supposed to meet me halfway from my house after my last delivery. How far on the road was I? The panic put my thoughts in disarray. Am I close enough for Jasper to hear me? Smell me? Was I in range of his gift? Suddenly I was knocked to the ground by a harsh shove and roughly placed on my back. A slightly tall, average looking man was looming over me breathing heavily with a pocket knife in his right hand. I vaguely recognized him as one of the tourists that had come in a large group to my shop. He was wearing rather light clothing for such cold weather even if it was warmer, it was still cloudy and chilly. He put a leather gloved hand over my now open mouth.

"Shut up and don't struggle or I'll kill you." The man look unnerved and nervous, but over it all he looked...eager? Giddy? I felt the warm tears sting my cheeks as he used his knife to cut open my thick coat and shirt. His eyes brightened at the sight of my bra-covered chest and bare stomach. He took his hand off my mouth so he could touch my bare skin. Then he put his knife under the center of my bra and cut it, though he didn't take off my ruined bra immediately, as if to savor the moment before the reveal. I thought I would retch when I felt the familiar sense of peace that I got whenever I knew Jasper was near. I almost laughed insanely with relief, but instead my tears dried and I spoke to him with a cold, stony expression.

"You should run." He looked up surprised at my comment, making him stop his hand midair from removing my bra.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He held the knife to my throat at my bold comment. Looks like he doesn't like resistant women. That's when I heard a growling from beyond my head and watched as the man's head snapped up and his eyes widened in fear as the menacing growling sound grew louder. He looked around trying to find the source, but I knew no matter how hard he tried he wouldn't be able to catch Jasper's immortal speed. Suddenly the man was blown several feet away from me while Jasper appeared crouched in front of me with a crushed knife in his left hand. I noticed that Jasper's over shirt button up long-sleeved sweater vest was over my exposed body and quickly put it on after taking off my ruined clothes. I struggled to my feet and wobbled over to Jasper's crouched position. I peeked under Jaspers outstretched right arm to the man that was scrambling to his knees. Next I peeked up at Jasper's face and found that his lip was curled back inhumanly as he continued to growl unlike any beast on Earth. His eyes were a flat charcoal black and the bags under his eyes were deep and a very dark purple; his eyes were completely focused on my attacker. I saw his muscles coil as he prepared to jump at the rising rapist.


	11. Ch 10 Surprise Surprise

Chapter 10

I unthinkingly wrapped my arms around Jasper's waist, shocking him and making him grant me an angry glare. I returned his gaze, pleading.

"Jasper don't! Don't kill him. PLEASE!" Jasper turned murderously back to the man. I barely noticed as the man registered my words and began to shake in fear for his life. I only had eyes for Jasper. I scrambled to find something, anything that could stop Jasper from killing this pathetic man. I felt something wet trickle down my stomach and peeked inside my borrowed shirt. The knife had cut me when he cut my bra. The words came out my mouth before I thought it through.

"Jasper, Jasper! Look! I'm bleeding! Can't you smell it?!" Jasper registered my words in a frozen state for half a second before he simply licked away the blood and healed my wound with his tongue( apparently vampire saliva can heal wounds even when the wounds aren't caused by them or their venom) before turning back to the prey in the same instant. His eyes were more angry and determined than before. Dammit! Stupid, stupid! The man fell to his knees, seeming to lose feeling in his legs from fear, as I'm sure Jasper is giving him a large amount of it with his gift. My mind scrambled once more trying to find a way to stop him and I found one, not a very secure reason, but one that will shock him long enough to get him back to his senses. Something that I had trouble accepting.

" Jasper!" I desperately gripped his untucked white collar shirt. "I think I might be pregnant!" This time Jasper's face froze in a state of shock as well as his body. He seemed to be staring at nothing as the man scrambled to his feet and half crawled, half ran away. Jasper looked from me to the fleeing attacker and back before I saw reason return to his flat black eyes. He kneeled in front of me and gauged my emotions, deciding I was more important than revenge on the human attacker.

"Are-are you sure?" I started to cry at the tangle of emotions that I felt from the odd mix of events. My head began to hurt and I struggled to keep my memories in check. I shook my head holding it with my arms, struggling for breath. Jasper stood quickly and hugged me stroking my hair as he sent waves of calm and spoke to me comfortingly. "Shh. It's alright. I'm sorry. We'll speak of it later. Calm down, Athena. It's over, it's over. Remember, one thing at a time. Focus on now, focus on me." He lifted my face with his hands making our eyes meet. I nodded as I made myself get lost in his eyes. We stood there for so long that my legs started to hurt. When that happen he lifted me.

"Are you alright now?" I buried my face in his neck and nodded weakly. He brushed his cheek against my hair before he spoke again. "We'll be at your house soon. Bear with me until then." This time instead of responding, I just closed my eyes and he took off. We arrived at my house minute later and into my room in even less time. The familiar night blue wallpaper, mahogany wood floors, and black themed sheets of my bed finally thawed me out and relaxed me. Jasper set me on the bed and was about to let go, but I wouldn't let him.

"Don't let me go yet." My voice was scratchy and hoarse. I swallowed to clear my stuffy throat as Jasper lay himself on the bed next to me, never letting me go. He continued to send soothing waves of emotion until my eyes drooped and I eventually fell asleep.

* * *

Could it be true? Could she really be bearing my child? Wonder and excitement stirred and blended with worry and fear. Bella's pregnancy wasn't pretty at all and she was in pain most of the time. Having felt everything, even with my vampiric strength, had made me grow a healthy respect for women who bore children, but having a half vampire child was much worse than a normal pregnancy, so much more dangerous. There has never been any record of human women surviving vampire childbirth...besides Bella, but she DID die and Edward had the strength and tenacity to keep her heart beating long enough for his venom to take effect. True, she was no longer alive, but neither was she dead and she was very happy. So happy that I had unintentionally been drawn to it their first few weeks of bliss. Was I strong enough to save her should it go as wrong as Bella's? Jasper smirked to himself as he absentmindedly stroked Athena's mussed hair. No one's luck was as bad as Bella's when she was human, but as horrible as her luck was as a human was just how amazing it was as a vampire. More than once I had pondered the possibility that Bella was somehow meant to be a vampire and that Edward meeting her was no coincidence, even the singing blood. If I was thinking such things before I met Athena, I would have thought that such thoughts were pointless, that fate didn't exist even if I had Alice then, but now...now I had Athena and I viewed _everything_ differently. Athena was my emotion, my soul mate, my _destiny_. I **will** be strong enough to save her should the need arise. I had to. I couldn't live without her. For the first time, I understood why Edward did something as foolish as go to the Volturi for death. Jasper would have done the same were it Athena he feared had thrown herself over the cliff. No longer was _anything_ Edward did for and because of Bella foolish in my eyes. Everything made sense and it confused me as much as it enlightened me. All those actions he did, all the actions _I'm_doing. Now I have put our family in danger by very obviously exposing our nature in front of some lowly worm. The memory of the weak male leaning over my mate began to mingle in the forefront of my thoughts. My teeth gritted silently as my body tensed and turned to stone from barely contained anger. How had Edward held back from those who had attempted the same with Bella? Having heard their malicious, grotesque thoughts...I had felt every urge, every emotion as I watched his action while speeding towards him. My lip curled slightly and I barely managed to contain a growl. I CANNOT leave her. I forced my eyes onto the slumbering figure pressed against me. Her sleeping face showed slight signs of distress and I immediately sent gentle waves of calm and comfort towards her. Her face softened and smoothed, her lips parted slightly as she let out a small breath of contentment. Her honey and vanilla scent hit my senses full force, but I was only too used to it. I inhaled slowly, deeply, letting the scent scorch my throat. I was so enraptured by her face, the soft feel of her against me, that I barely gave it notice. My fingertips met with the baggy, thin cloth that covered her smooth stomach. Through the light touch I felt a hard smoothness that was not there before.

Ever so slowly, my palm smoothed onto her belly, gently feeling across the whole of her midriff and finding that there was quite noticeably(to vampires or those intimate with said person's body) a hard bump, the hardest and smoothest of it appearing centimeters above her belly button. My feelings of wonder had returned. I'm going to be a father...

* * *

I continued to take deep breaths even after I woke up, letting the feel of Jasper's inhumanly hard and cold skin completely erase the feel of the other man's touch. The gentle waves of calm and comfort that washed over me helped me concentrate and center my thoughts, clear my head, become calm again. memories from yesterday came back, but no negative emotions clouded them. I felt relieved that I had stopped Jasper from killing that man and that he was here in my arms now, a little shaken that my emotions had left me in such disarray after the attack, but Jasper was with me and I'm okay now. I snuggled into his chest. I'm more than okay right now. Jasper stroked my hair with the arm I was using as a pillow and the other hand brushed against the exposed skin of my hip. I shivered at the cold touch, even though the cold wasn't the reason for the action. Desire immediately fogged my mind. In the past few months, Jasper had proved himself stronger in will than he himself had thought. He'd also proven himself a passionate and gentle lover after having mastered not hurting me in bed, not that I ever noticed when he did. I kissed the hollow above his collar bone and then the exposed skin of his chest right above the point of his v-neck sweater. I felt his cold lips press against my hair, his arms trapping me in a stone embrace as they encircled my waist. My eyes wandered up his beautifully sculpted chest to his smoothly curved neck, then to his impossibly handsome face, locking onto the flat black of purple bagged eyes. I found my hand had come to cup his cheek before I had asked it to do so, not that he seemed to mind. His eyes closed at my touch as he took a deep, calming breath and opened his eyes anew, a spark of passion brightening flat eyes. I continued to look into the depths of them, seeing other emotions that swam through them; wonder, joy, confusion, anxiety, and most of all love, always love. I smiled at the positive turmoil happening inside him speaking softly.

"You're going to be a father Jasper." He pressed his forehead against mine, looking down at my stomach as he gently placed a hand there, feeling the small hard bump that I had only discovered this morning. It wasn't even that apparent. The bump was non offensive to my overall figure, doing nothing to make it seem different in any way, but twisting in ways I'd never given a second thought to was now reconsidered because of the odd sensation it gave my center. The biggest giveaway however was the feel of a womb as hard as Jasper's own skin just below my on soft, delicate skin. His expression grew softer, more reverent, more gentle and angelic. My eyes watered at the pure sight of it. His head suddenly moved to be looking straight at me, disorienting me for only a short second before Jasper spoke two words that threw me back into a state of confusion.

"Marry me." My mind emptied of everything but those two words repeating themselves over and over again. Marry? We've only known each other for five months! Well, okay, sure, lots of people have gotten married way sooner, but **_married_**? I couldn't help feeling anxious. To Jasper? My anxiety flew out the window when it occurred to me _who_ I was marrying. To _JASPER_. Wonder, thrill, excitement, anticipation, joy, elation, all these emotions whirled through me pouring out as tears down my cheek. Yes, yes, yes, yes, always yes.

"Yes, yes I would love to marry you, Jasper. Jasper only you." I couldn't speak anymore, my voice was shaking and my throat closed. I pressed my lips against his and he returned it passionately, dizzying already jumbled thoughts. I could only repeat his name every time he had to stop so I could catch my breath. "Jasper, Jasper..." Not for the first time since I met Jasper was I finally glad to have this memory disease. With it I could remember every word, every touch, every moment with my beloved Jasper. He was the only one who could make me lose the ability to think, with every touch, every caress, every kiss and thrust, my mind went blissfully blank, devoid of anything but sensation, oh the sweet sensation. Always, always, I would drown in it...


	12. Ch 11 Jewels & Visions

Chapter 11

I already knew what to do, especially watching her beautifully bare figure as I am now. I had to get the ring I had purchased for her almost immediately after I had resolved myself. Even after the ring itself I had bought her more jewelry since it wasn't time to give her the ring. Still, I had only bought her one piece from each of the broad jewelry categories, but each piece he felt suited her well; a cluster bracelet with round brilliant pear-shaped and marquise diamonds, a sapphire and diamond owl brooch in 18k white gold, drop earrings of diamond in platinum, a diamond and sapphire line necklace in platinum, and a 7.5 inch clasping link charm bracelet in platinum with 5 different charms: an Aphrodite and Ares double-sized charm in sterling silver, a snowflake charm with diamonds in platinum, an engraved medium-sized locket in sterling silver, a man in the moon charm in sterling silver, and a mini hearts charm with diamonds in platinum. I had given each piece at different times and she had taken each with joy, even though I knew she didn't care for jewelry. She still wore every piece I bought her whenever she could. My thoughts returned to the ring and the plans for getting it _before_ she woke up. I want to go get it, but I don't want to leave her just yet...or ever. I brushed back the loose strands of her hair away from her face. She shivered and shifted closer to me. I smiled down at her endearing behaviour. No other girl but her would move closer to the cold of his body(well except for Bella, but she's not human anymore). I lay there, continuing the internal war of the ring problem when I caught the scent of Bella approaching quickly. I dressed myself and covered Athena without waking her before joining Bella outside in the dark before dawn. In her hand was the velvet blue box containing Athena's ring.

"How did you-?" I cut myself off and joined Bella in answering my own unfinished question.

"Alice." Bella went on quickly. "She told me you'd need this and that you'd want your privacy until you told us yourself and since I'm the only person who Edward can't hear..." She left it as is, since no other explanation was needed. I took the box gratefully, holding it with utmost care.

"Thank you." My words were fervently sincere. Bella smiled at me warmly before departing silently. I hurried back to Athena the same moment and returned to her side on the bed barely missing two minutes of her company. Now I can watch over her until she wakes...

* * *

When I fell asleep I rarely dreamed and when I did it was never colorful or bright or happy. My rare and foggy dreams consisted of visions of my parent's grave, my brother's grave, Aro, Caius, Jane, Felix, all doing next to nothing or something extremely horrible. When I dreamed of Flex, they were not the nightmares I would have thought would come from dreams, but odd unclear and confusing scenes of him doing something or other from wrestling with a fellow Volturi member to helping dispose of the empty husks of unsuspecting and now dead tourists. At one point I even had a dream of a Felix that looked younger, human, and _happy_. Aro and Caius were almost always together with the wives, Marcus was there as well but he was so inactive he might as well have been a sculpture in the background. They were always interesting in my dreams and entirely terrifying. I always dreamed of them speaking things that were too fast for my human ears to hear, looking at papers both new and very old, sometimes Aro and Caius shared an expression so vile and frightening and I'd perceive something that sounded like Cullens or Carlisle from their conversations and then there were my inactive dreams where it would just be my parent's or my brother's empty grave. it would seem like a still image until I saw wind blow through the grass or a bird pass by. One time I even saw _Felix_appear at my brother's grave, a bored expression on his face as he looked around and visibly sniffed the air, he seemed disappointed at whatever he'd found then he wore a voracious killer smile as he turned back to my brother's grave and broke the tombstone of the angel with a loud crashing until all that was left of the angel tombstone was rubble and dust. I wondered at the oddity of my dreams as I woke from my latest one, the first happy dream I'd had in a very long time. It wasn't necessarily the scenic change nor the more vivid picture, but the person who was in it. Jasper. He appeared in my dreams when my rare dreams became more frequent. In this dream I watched from an invisible viewpoint as he walked into a very expensive-looking ritzy jewelry store. He started to look into the glass cases, their contents invisible to me, he called one of the workers and pointed to the case. My dream began to fade as she unlocked the case to take out whatever he was pointing at. Reality was returning as I consciously felt the cold hardness of Jasper's arms around me. My sheets were covering my naked body, but I was mildly surprised to see that Jasper was already dressed...well mostly. Actually, the only thing he had on were his black pants, no less than designer, Alice's work. I took a deep breath, inhaling Jasper's scent with habit and familiarity. Jasper smiled as I woke, caressing my bare arm.

"Good morning, my sweet." I smiled back before sitting up, pulling the covers with me until I could find something to put on. I spotted Jasper's navy blue cashmere v-neck within arms reach and put it on. Obviously it was to big for me so my shoulders were near bare and the neck cut off impressively at my chest, but it was big enough to cover everything below until almost halfway to my thighs. Jasper appraised me, mocking criticism in his eyes. "Hmmm, I think a bigger size would better," his fingers teased the cleavage peaking out from the v-neck, "accentuate your figure." I teasingly slapped his hand away, lightly of course. No need to hurt myself. Jasper was sitting up now, his smile slightly mischievous. I gave him a sultry smile as I slid onto his lap, my legs on either side of him, my arms lightly resting on around his neck.

"Good morning, mi vida." I had mounted him. Now Jasper grinned outright, his eyes twinkling in amusement.

"Are you seducing me?" I glanced up at him through my eyelashes, my outstretched hands gently running across his bare chest.

"That depends," Jasper's black eyes flashed with desire as my hands continued to circle back around his neck, my face inches from his, "is it working?" In a movement too fast for me to see, I was lying back on the bed, Jasper leaning over me. He smirked, his eyes bright with humor and lust.

"Oh, it's working," He smiled wider, baring ultra white teeth in what should have been a frightening scene but I was all too used to it, "too well I think." Before I could ask what he meant, he kissed me, soft and insistent, the sweet taste of it erasing whatever it was I was thinking. Any attempt to remember it vanished when his hand followed an invisible path down the side of my body, playfully grabbing my thigh and wrapping it around his waist. I smiled through the kiss at his actions and willfully lifted my other leg to join the first until my legs were securely locked around his waist, pressing his cold body close to my heated one. I squealed and giggled when he, with a grin, flipped me once again until I was laying flat on top of him breathless from the speed of it. I laughed at his antics and he laughed with me. I'd never known that someone could be this happy at one time. Wasn't this too much happiness though? Wasn't there supposed to be a balance. What kind of bleak future awaits me if I'm so happy now? Then something happened that froze both our laughter and bodies. Something moved in my stomach and since I was pressed against Jasper, he'd felt it too. We stared at each other in wonder, disoriented at the strangeness of it happening at such a moment before we laughed again, the sound more joyful than joking, more warm than robust.

"It seems like our baby is playing too." A soft gentleness entered Jasper's expression when I said 'our baby'. He sat us up, placing me in his lap and placed an excessively gentle hand on my now pronounced bump, still not visible from too far but more so than yesterday, and caressed it, his fingers barely making contact with my skin.

"_Our_ baby." His voice was reverent as he said the two simple words.

* * *

**AN: This ****_could_**** be an ending and I haven't really come back to this story in a while, but I don't know if I want to continue it. If I get enough people asking to continue then I might otherwise this is the 'unofficial ending' I suppose. The end for those satisfied and possibly TBC for those not. :p**


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